10 Common Myths About Psychotherapy Debunked

10 Common Myths About Psychotherapy Debunked

MYTH 1: “Good therapy should always make you feel good.”

Good therapy will help you feel understood and able to relate differently to the problems that brought you in. But that doesn’t mean you’ll always feel good. Being understood might mean that you talk about pretty upsetting things that you don’t feel comfortable talking about elsewhere.

MYTH 2: “Retail therapy is just as good as talk therapy.”

There are lots of things you might do to get an immediate dopamine hit like shopping, checking social media, gardening, or having a great conversation with a friend, but these are not the same thing as therapy. Therapy involves a range of emotions and strengthens your ability to reflect on your whole personality. It also helps you do this over time, noticing and treating patterns instead of reacting to single moments.

MYTH 3: “I do other things to keep myself healthy, so I don’t need therapy.”

There are many things a person can do to contribute to their overall well-being, like yoga or other physical activities, journaling, or reading self-help books. These are all great! But they’re also different from therapy. Psychotherapy happens over time in the context of an ongoing relationship with another person who is trained to reflect things back to you that you may not be able to observe about yourself. The therapeutic space also allows interpersonal dynamics to play out and be worked through – like feeling ashamed or having a need to be taken care of – in ways that can’t be done on your own.

MYTH 4: “Therapy is too expensive.”

It’s not uncommon to experience therapy as cost-prohibitive, and many therapists are aware of this to help make needed services more accessible. Therapy can be covered or reimbursed by insurance, there are workplace EAPs and EWPs, and many therapists offer sliding scales. You can check out the low-cost therapy directory on this site. Even with these considerations, therapy is a financial investment. As an investment, therapy has benefits in every area of life from romantic relationships to job success. It is the psychological equivalent to getting a college degree or making sure your home’s foundation is stable, and those are wise long-term investments.

MYTH 5: “Therapy takes too long.”

The length of time it takes for therapy to be effective varies by person. It might take a long time, but that’s relative to how much time you might have experienced different circumstances that need to be unlearned and rewired. 

MYTH 6: “Therapists are out of touch with real life.”

As a group, therapists can tend to listen more than we speak, but that doesn’t mean therapists are out of touch. Therapists are a diverse group of people: you can find therapists who come from all religious and ethnic backgrounds, and who are well-versed in things like sports, the arts, nontraditional relationships, artificial intelligence, and the list goes on. It can be beneficial to interview a few therapists before committing, to find a therapist who is the right fit for you.

MYTH 7: “Therapy is just about complaining.”

While a lot of people need to use therapy to talk about upsetting things that they feel they can’t talk about elsewhere, this isn’t complaining. We all have a legitimate human need to be understood by others. Additionally, therapy relies on your strengths to help you become more integrated. Just as it’s important to talk about what upsets you in therapy, it’s important to talk about what gives you pleasure and where you feel competent.

MYTH 8: “Going to therapy means something is wrong with you.” 

Your mind and body are fine-tuned instruments that metabolize the circumstances around you. If something is causing you psychological distress, that distress is also related to the larger situation around you. Good therapy won’t isolate you or your symptoms as the problem, even if it helps you have more responsibility and agency with those around you. Rather, therapy will help you utilize the range of emotions inside you most effectively to deal with the circumstances of your life.

MYTH 9: “All you talk about in psychotherapy is the past.”

Psychotherapy is interested in the full continuum of your life – your past, present, and future, and how they all relate. You will probably talk about your past in psychotherapy more than you get to in other areas of your life. Therapy looks at your past to understand what has been foundational in your life including your attachment system and formative experiences. 

MYTH 10: “What happened in the past isn't relevant to living your best life today.”

Admitting to the difficulties and limitations of your life can be hard, and oftentimes we’d rather imagine we can start every day fresh without any attachments. However, everything that happens today has a template from prior experiences and the neural pathways these established. While change is possible, we first have to understand your psychological roadmap and what is influencing your feelings, symptoms, and relationship patterns today. From there, new paths can be forged.