How to Find the Right Psychotherapist for You
Who you tell your stories to matters.
The person hearing you impacts what you feel comfortable sharing, what you share, and how you come to live with the things that you share. This is true in everyday relationships, and it’s also true when it comes to finding the right psychotherapist for you.
Jane, a woman in her late 40s, starts dating a man with a preschool-aged child. Things quickly progress between Jane and this man, and she and his child are playful and kind to one another. In therapy, Jane talks about becoming a stepmom, wanting to be important to the child, and her own childhood where she would have benefited from an additional mother figure who was emotionally more savvy than her own mother. There are some standardized, practical considerations for how to blend a family, but Jane’s personal feeling in her different roles in this relationship will impact how that blending happens. And, the therapist’s own experience and willingness to consider different angles will impact how she can navigate this transition with Jane.
Seek Out Matched Interests & Credentials
Just like with Jane, the concerns that bring you into therapy are likely to be highly personal and nuanced, so start your search by looking for someone whose interests and credentials are matched with what you need. This may sound obvious, but since therapy is a very relational process, you’ll want to keep these factors in mind more than when you’re looking for a different kind of professional. Don’t just look at the pathologies they have treated like depression, borderline personality disorder, etc., but also at their areas of specialization like cancer, divorce, fertility issues, gender identity, or nontraditional relationships.
Schedule Consultation Sessions Before Committing
Some of the most important things that impact your therapy have less to do with things you can find on a therapist’s resume, and more to do with the relationship the two of you share. Because of this, having one or several consultation sessions where you assess your own experience in relation to a particular therapist can be important before committing to therapy. Look for someone who is discerning but nonjudgmental. Will they help you explore the concerns that are most important to you in thoughtful ways, while also allowing you to make your own choices? You’ll want to notice how you feel during and after your meeting. Were you able to share in ways that felt new to you? Did you feel heard? If something difficult came up, did you feel that you could address it, or that you had to switch the topic and not talk about it?
Ensure That Frequency & Costs Meet Your Needs
You’ll also want to make sure the cost and frequency of therapy are clearly communicated. Most effective therapy occurs one or more times per week for at least a few months but oftentimes for a number of years. While some therapists will be in network with your insurance, many are not, but they might offer a sliding scale fee or reimbursement through your insurance. Make sure that the cost and frequency is something you can commit to to get the most benefit from your therapy.
While therapy is often enjoyable, it is also work! It’s important to find someone you feel able to be honest and trusting with so that you can do the hard, life-changing work ahead of you.
Ready to start your search for a therapist? Dr. Alexa Albert shares three free resources to help your research journey if you’re not able to find what you need in our free and low cost therapy directory.
Searching for a depth therapist? Dr. Alexa Albert shares helpful language to understand and use when searching for a depth therapist.
Wondering how to approach your first meeting with a therapist? Dr. Alexa Albert shares her insights.
